"Sisters, Sisters, never were there such devoted sisters!"

I have been thinking how lucky we are to have big sisters. I know that I have the best and now that she is gone, I think I am going through Chris withdrawal. I think of all the big sisters I know and what good sisters they are. Meg, Lex, and Emilyare wonderful big sisters. They are so good to Sadie, trying to include her and offer her advice on everything from fashion to relationships. Then there is Verlinda, Janet, Jerianne, Janae (Jacqui-you are wonderful too!), Tracie (Nic-you too!) and Scharman.

Take a minute and think what your big sister means to you. We don't always need to agree but you can always be yourself-better or worse. And you can always count on your sister to be on your side-no matter what. I don't see my sister enough and even though she has been gone not even 12 hours-I miss her!

RODEO TREK

Well, we have made our springtime pilgrimage to the Houston Livestock Show and Rodeo. It was especially fun this year to have Chris with us. We somewhat tried to dress appropriately but our stock of western wear is lacking. Paul wanted to wear shorts but Sadie insisted he wear his "cool" jeans so , of course, he wore his boots. (They deserve to be worn once a year!) and off we went.
There are some down sides to going to the rodeo. The hordes of people. The masses of people. Did I mention the thousands of people? As we entered the stadium, for the concert, we also entered with thousands of people. I felt like we were cows being herded along. But even worse was the maze to get back on the bus to take you back to the parking lot. Thousands of people pressed into a maze and waiting and waiting. I truly expected to receive a nice big piece of cheese when we successfully made it through.
Hooray! for the up side of the rodeo. Brad Paisley gave an amazing concert-he is one of my personal favorites-it was wonderful. The actual rodeo is very entertaining. You laugh in the calf scramble, gasp at the bull riding and cheer for the barrel racers. The shopping opportunites are varied and vast, and of course, the FOOD! I really need to write an ode to the food. Yes, we ate funnel cakes, cookies and creams in a waffle cone, peanuts and the beloved dippin dots. We couldn't eat it all, so we missed the sausage on a stick, cheesecake on a stick, the barbecue and the turkey legs. I looked for the okra but couldn't find it-maybe next year. All in all it was great. We came home satisfied and the pilgrimage was a happy one.

The "ODE TO ETHAN"

I love having Ethan at home. True, I hardly ever get to use my car. And, true, he is always hungry but....he makes me laugh, he is a wonderful brother to Sadie, he makes me CD's, he helps me babysit- or sitbaby, as little Jenny calls it-, he plays with the cat (or tortures-its a fine line), he does what he is asked to do-if there is time, he will even weed-under pressure-, he adds a wonderful spirit to our home and he is always sensitive to my moods-which can be varied.

What a blessing it is to have a grown son live at home and get to spend time with him. I know he is anxious to move on and will soon be doing so; and I too, want him to have those opportunities. I will miss him. Sadie will miss him. His Dad will miss him.

Last night, as I am cleaning up dinner and talking to Ethan, (take note, I am cleaning and Ethan is talking!) my elbow hit the pan on the stove that still had cauliflower in it. I can't get to it but Ethan with go-go-gadget arms reaches out and catches it before it hits the floor and before it spills. (WOW! Was that superman?) He saved the day or at least the cauliflower and the floor. I will miss the acts of super power-especially flying across my bed- but most of all I will miss the conversations.

Ethan is a positive, up-lifting person, there is much ahead for him. Have a wonderful journey. GO WEST, YOUNG MAN! I love you.

APPARENTLY 'OLD' ENOUGH

Anyone who knows me, know that I am not bothered by my age. I will freely admit that I just turned 53 (WOW!-that is old!) and I pretty much feel that there is not a whole lot I can do about it-it is just how things are. BUT-(and that is a big BUT) don't make me older than I am. I am getting older fast enough by myself, I don't need help from anyone.

For example, a couple of weeks ago, I was having a nice conversation with my 8 year old granddaughter, Madeline. She is studying what she called the "old days". These were her questions to me; "Grandma, did you go to a one-room school?" (No, Maddy, but my mother did.)

"Grandma, did you ride a horse to school?" (NO, Maddy, but my mother did.) "Grandma, did you wear long dresses?" (I was caught by that one. Long dresses were popular during high school. Yes, Maddy, but only because they were cute.) It got better. "Grandma, did you travel by buggy?" (I am still very patient but-No, Maddy, Grandma is not that old!) "Did you make aprons out of flour sacks? Do you know how to shoot a gun? Did you make your own butter? And then came my favorite; "Grandma, did you kill your own meat?" I admit I got a little defensive."MADELINE, GRANDMA IS NOT OLD ENOUGH TO DO THOSE THINGS!"

I have to admit by the end of the conversation, I was laughing but I sent Maddy out to jump on the tramp.

Now just this morning, I figured out where all this is coming from. Meg called to tell me that Julia had ironed for the very first time and she decided that she loved to iron. So, of course, Meg had to inform her that her Grandmother hates to iron. "I know why," said Julia, "its probably because she had to be next to the fire so she could keep the irons hot!!!!"

Now, is that fair? Is it too much to expect loyalty from your children? I admit there was a time on my 30th birthday that Alexa asked how old her father was (she was 5), 56? and I promtly agreed. Year later she told all her friends that her Dad was in his 60's and they were amazed at how young he looked. But I am the mother here and mothers deserve very strict loyalty and devotion. Just remember mothers---your time will come!

And in knowing that I am OK. We have to laugh about getting older or the tears would drown us. You can be sure, as your time comes, I will still be here laughing at-I mean with you.
PS I feel the need to confess. Yes, I made green jello this morning and nothing says old like green jello. All I can say-----IT'S YUMMY!

PPS and this is actually my real great great grandmother, so you know where I'm headed!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DAD!

I hesitated to do this; not because I didn't want too; but because the emotions are a little close to the surface. I was writing on my calendar the other day and I looked at the 21st-Dad's birthday-and I thought, "Do I write it down?" Yes, of course, I do! I think of Dad so often but there are times when I just miss him and I yearn for one of his hugs, a chance to hold his hand or his telling me I'm wonderful.

My Dad was a great Dad. He was fun. We used to play tricks on each other. (He gave me coal for Christmas when I was 16 so I put his alarm clock under his bed and set it for 2am.) He was always so loving and caring. He did spank me once-the circumstances will not be mentioned; but everyone else was doing it! But most often he was comfortable to be with. You never doubted his love.

Dad was not perfect but even when he broke Megan's bed so we could fit it in the trailer to move-you some how couldn't be mad at him. Exasperated-yes! Mad-no! I could never get past the twinkle in his eye or the little shrug of his shoulder. I asked him once, if he thought that he was prejudiced and he was honestly surprised.

Dad was the one I always ran too first for help and to impart news. Right after I graduated from high school, I went to get my hair cut and the lady talked me into a boy cut (my hair was below my shouders-dumb, I know). When I went crying to Dad that I looked like a boy, he took me to get my ears pierced. (Mom was not very pleased.) I always knew that I would find comfort and peace, if I could just talk to Dad. Since we lived so far away, Dad was always willing to give long distance blessings to help me through whatever came my way.

One of the things I miss most, is his hands. Ever since I was a little girl, I loved his hands. They were warm, comforting hands. I used to play with them, hold on to them and then to feel them on my head-I knew all would be well.

I know that you are busy in heaven Dad. I am so happy for you but I miss you and I pray that you know how very much I love you. You will always be my hero and my Dad. Happy Birthday!

OH HONEY-YOU DIDN'T!

Now, I know that Paul and I have been married for almost 33 years-yes, it boggles the mind!-and we have never really done a lot on Valentines Day. My birthday is so close and our anniversary is not far behind but I think we hit a new low yesterday. Last evening, Paul approached me with gift in hand; wrapped in tissue paper and tied with a bow and I admit my heart jumped and I thought, "Oh, how sweet-a present!". Now, not everyone would consider a bottle of pomegranate (Yes, I did have to look on the bottle for spelling) juice a gift, but my husband did. He told me he bought it especially for me because I love pomegranates. I didn't know this about myself but after 33 years, Paul knows; so I'll take his word for it. He sincerely believes that this was a wonderful, unique token of our love. Scary isn't it? Hey, I can't complain, I gave him a cheesey Valentine pin and asked him to wear it all day. He is such a good sport-he did! Nevertheless, we are content with our lameness and have completely moved Valentine's Day into a stress free holiday. Needless to say, our expectations are very low!

SOMETIMES-IHC-IT HASN'T CHANGED!

Do we ever really understand our parents? I think parents understand their children but do we ever understands our parents. Let's face it-parents have just been around longer. We can say all we want that they just don't understand TODAY but I think they do and I think they have had the time to recognize what is most important and what to do to make it stay important. Now, I know that I am coming at this mostly from the parent end of things but I decided that I have to be kinder to my parent. For example, I have been bugging my MOM to clean out her closets and throw away SOMETHING! (For those of you who know my Mother-she can't do it.) MOM is 92 and she really just doesn't want to. I think that I bug her so much to do it so that when the time comes, I won't have to do it. But anyway, in my effort to be nicer to old people-that includes myself-I have started to once again go through drawers, closets, etc. and clean out. It is not easy, but MOM we both need to do it.

I have also noticed that things don't change a lot as you get older (except your stomach, your bladder, your upper lip, your hair-but thats an epic yet to be written!) I'm talking about the MOM/children relationship. I swear my children know the instant I step into the bathroom. Those at home need something and those not at home are calling. IT HASN'T CHANGED! My time still has to be scheduled carefully due to sharing a car with a son who has to work, go to school, work at the temple, go to institute. I am thrilled to have him home for a time-but-IHC! And lucky me, I still get the, "Is that what you are going to wear?", and I am also lucky enough to get, "MOM, I keep in touch, I talked to you for a couple of minutes last week!" IHC! Not to mention, "MOM, have you done laundry (YES, a billion times!), MOM, make me lunch, MOM, I have to have......." and, of course the ever present 'rolling of the eyes!' IHC!
So just remember as life move forward, it changes but it stays the same. I am grateful for that but I can change and just be nicer to anyone this age (including me) and older.